Unveiled
by rain.season
Summary: A few years down the road, Rob and Kris fight their way out of messy crowds and assy eyes to prepare for their big day. Then it's off to honeymoon sexytimes and real-life ups and downs as everything settles in. RPF. NC-17. Graphic/Explicit sexytimes.
1. Teaser

UNVEILED – Teaser

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**Summary**: It's a couple of years down the road, but the mess surrounding Rob and Kris have only gotten worse. Infidelity and wedding rumors have picked up again and hitting hard. Rob is dealing with a source who is feeding details about their wedding to the media, causing a psychotic storm of fans and media waiting to gain a glimpse into one of their most intimate days. Rob and Kristen fight their way out of the crowds and mess to prepare for their wedding and see it through. Then, it's off to Rob's surprise for Kris, the honeymoon, and the harsh reality of real life, especially after exchanging vows.

**AN: **Hey, fellow lovers and perverts! Rob was whispering to me after a night out with Kris… and he kindly asked me to propose their wedding-day bliss. Actually… I think he just wanted to tickle your brains and your downstairs with his dickle. Woo!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Rob or Kris or anything or anyone. I even google-pic'd everything. I'll share links when the story comes out! Yeah, I _still_ don't own anything or anyone, dammit.

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KPOV

He carefully slid the dress off of my body and attempted to lay me down, but we never did anything according to the rulebook. Hell, I didn't even care to invest in expensive lingerie. So I decided to toy with our new balance of control, not that it was ever lacking… but _fuck_, did I love the title of being his wife. _Fucking _love _it. _

I pushed my sexy finally-husband on the bed and sat on his – good God, I love this man – stomach. My heart was going to burst if I don't show him how much I love him right this ball-busting second.

"Feisty," my husband growled at me. All the more reason to jump him.

I crumbled as soon as he spoke. _Damn him_! My cheeks flushed with red and the heat of my body gave me away. For the hundredth. Cock-licking. Time. Today.

Rob laughed. _Laughed!_ "Oh, darling. Even when you're about to _ride_ me like the little bullet that you are, you still blush."

I bit my lip to keep from cussing my beautiful husband out and untucked his dress shirt from his ass-delicious pants.

"You want me," I told him, changing the subject and attempting to keep my play.

"More than anything," he chuckled, seeing straight through me.

I punched his chest, but broke into laughter. He rolled me over and kneeled over my body. "Little kitten whose name is Tiger."

I scoffed and reached down in between us to unbutton his pants, but thought better of it.

"Hey, baby?" I baited and smiled knowingly. I palmed his cock through his pants and made sure I got what I want.

He moaned and dropped his head next to mine; his body shaking.

_Mmm, perfect._

I cupped my hand over his bulge and sighed in satisfaction. "Baby?" I crooned again, gently squeezing his I-just-want-to-fucking-eat-it cock.

He cried out my name and began rocking his body over mine, grinding against my hand.

"What?" He sighed in desperation. "What?"

"We haven't even started yet and you're already calling out to God? Tsk tsk."

I rubbed his cock again and he cried out to God once more. "He ain't hearing you tonight, husband. It's you," I licked his lips, "And me. Good luck."

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**End notes:** Well… and the rest of us perverts = ] Weeeeeeeeee! I didn't want to give you too much brain cream yet. Stay tuned! Rob and Kris Pattinson are going to share their – well, _my _– version of their "I do's." This is a big stretch for me, but oh well! Hope you enjoy being cock-teased. Don't worry; I threw a fit with Rob too, but he wouldn't budge in allowing me to give you more.


	2. Happy Birthday

**Story summary**: It's a couple of years down the road, but the mess surrounding Rob and Kris has only gotten worse. It's 2014. Kris is 24 and Rob is 28. Infidelity and wedding rumors have picked up again and are hitting hard. Rob is dealing with a source who is feeding details about their wedding to the media, causing a psychotic storm of fans and media waiting to gain a glimpse of their most intimate days. Rob and Kristen fight their way out of the crowds and mess to prepare for their wedding and see it through. Then, it's off to Rob's surprise for Kris, the honeymoon, and the harsh reality of real life, especially after exchanging vows.

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**AN:** Okay, I fail at life. Please don't remind me lol Sorry about the delayed updates. Life has been unfair and Time's always the bitch. Forgive me. I'll update this when I'm outta finals. I need to pass this asswipe ECN class that's currently molesting me against my wishes. It hurts like the ECN stick's got splinters all over and it's going up my ass. Thanks a lot. Please be patient. This chapter doesn't hit marriage. Oh, yeah. I don't own shit. My parents, family and friends would disown me if they knew of my nasty tendencies. But I happen to believe that sex should be fun, not a burden. Did I mention that I don't own squat? Please don't sue. It's like… pure coincidence if you can think of people with the same names… who have all the same ties. Coincidence, I tell you. Oh, yes. And I celebrate Thanksgiving all weekend long and every single day. Yesterday was the official day, so Happy one-day-late-Thanksgiving!

**Warning:** I've found that I can't really write fics without sexytimes. It's like a freaking porno. IDGI. Like, graphic shit. So if you don't know that spooning leads to forking and you still believe that kissing with the tongue = babies, then you should not be reading this. This is also a RPF. Also, if you have sex with someone and they could go to jail because it was considered rape, even if you wanted it, please go away. As in, if you're not of legal age, click the red X at the top right corner. I'm not going to be the one responsible for mind-raping you haha. Sex here is graphic. Explicit. It's not for everyone. This story was created at a lemonade stand, so there's a lot of smut. Did I mention smut? But I swear that Rob's going on a no-sex break after this chapter… ish. I promise that this story actually does have a storyline. This is simply the set-up. And this story will continue with sexypornotimes.

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KPOV

Lies. Lies. They're all lies. I was a liar. And he knew.

It was about 4:00 p.m. when I heard the shower shut off upstairs. I strolled into the kitchen and dug through the fridge for the pie that I made. The cold air licked the skin of my legs and I shivered.

"Darling, have you seen…?" His voice was closer than I expected. The low hum of the fridge added a buzz to his voice.

I slightly jumped and bumped my head against the fridge.

"Hmm?" I answered, bent over, still digging and gathering a few things.

"You've got to stop doing that," he lightly tapped my ass. He reached up to open the cupboard and took out a mug.

I stood back up and raised a brow at him before kicking the fridge door shut.

"I could say the same to you." I set the items on the counter and stole a glance at his towel-clad body.

_Jesus Christ_. Time looks good on him.

There were still droplets of water trickling down his back and his hair was still wet. You'd think that after two years of sharing the same space, I'd be used to this by now. Apparently not.

But this scene played out like home to me. It was home.

Rob had purchased two houses a few years back – one of which the media was aware. The other one was surprisingly kept under the radar. The house that the media knew about was occupied by and "Rob and his family." We visited often, but he had his own home. The one that I visited often as well. I technically had my own place, but it was a gift for Mom and Dad. Rob had asked me to live with him, but for some fucked up reason, my head wouldn't accept it. So I "visited" often and returned to "my" home every now and then… for a few hours. Stupid concept, but Rob simply laughed and said "okay" when I explained it to him.

"So, we're basically living together… except we're not 'officially' living together?" He had asked.

"No," I had argued. "We're _not_ living together. You have your own place. I have mine. I'll visit."

"But you'll stay." It was a statement, not a question.

"Yes." _Please don't press it,_ I had thought. _I can't explain it._

"Like you're living here. With me."

"No. We're _not_ living together."

"But…" He began, then chuckled. "Okay, silly girl."

He saw straight through me and allowed me to think what I wanted. But to him, this was our home. It was – is – my home. I just couldn't allow myself to acknowledge that I really, officially lived with him, yet. I mean, technically I wasn't because I didn't have a lot of stuff here. _Ugh. Shut up, you idiot girl. _I may or may not have been a little afraid of the title of living together.

But here it was: home, right in front of me.

I stole another glance at him drinking coffee and continued to prepare a slice of his favorite pie for him.

"Kristen?"

"Hmm?" I turned to him.

"Are you alright?" He was concerned and it was apparent.

"Yeah, why?"

"I asked you if you were still going out tonight…" He mumbled in a low voice, scratching his shoulder and drinking coffee.

I chuckled. "Oh. Yes. But I'll be back soon enough. Kelly wants to run over some quick details for my break. Who knew that breaks required details?" I rolled my eyes.

He nodded and pursed his lips.

_I'm sorry. I'm sorry, _I chanted to myself. _This thing is almost over._

"Coffee so late? Are _you_ okay?"I attempted to put an end to the silence.

"Yeah," he nodded.

He was upset.

"What's up?" I handed him a piece of pie with whipped cream and a touch of strawberry drizzle. Just the way he liked it.

"Thanks," he took it and set it on the counter.

I scratched my nose and stared at him. He made it terribly hard to lie. To keep lying.

"I can cancel," I said.

"No. Why would you cancel?" He forced a smile.

"Rob – "

"Should I be worried… Kristen?" His face was expressionless; his voice masked as well.

I felt terrible.

"You've been distant for the past two months," he chose his words carefully. "I was hoping that maybe tonight –"

"You don't want pie?" I nodded toward the plate.

He stared at me for a while before he headed back to our bedroom. I sighed and covered the pie and his plate before putting them back in the fridge. There was no sound in the house.

_Fuck! This better be fucking worth it._

"Rob?" I knocked on the locked bedroom door.

He opened the door and stared at me.

"I probably won't be coming back tonight," I said carefully.

I watched at his breathing hitched and his eyes betrayed his words. "That's fine."

He closed the door. I left the house.

Time had passed by too quickly since we met. Before I knew it, I had made two handfuls of films within a couple of years. I was exhausted. Life hadn't been the same since the saga, so it was time to settle down from all of this mess. The hype needed to stop and Rob and I needed to get our lives together and just be.

Frankly, how the _fuck_ did I get to 24 so fast? _Time, you are such a bitch, I swear. _I called Lizzie as I drove over to the restaurant to finalize details.

"Hey, Kris. Everything alright?" she answered in a worry-drenched tone.

"He's so upset," I said quietly. I wasn't sure if I could keep this up for much longer.

"It's going to be over soon. Don't let him give you shit," she chuckled.

I didn't say anything.

"That bad, huh?" she sighed and most likely ran her fingers through her hair, much like her brother.

"I'll kick his ass," she growled. "Mom! Robert's being a little bitch."

"Liz, no. Don't," I pleaded. "You're right. It's almost over."

"Give me the phone, Liz," I heard Clare shouting at her husband. "Rich. You talk to your son or I'll kick his ass."

_Oh, dear Lord._ _He's going to be even more upset with me._

"Clare, please. Don't," I pleaded with the sweet woman.

"No. Don't you worry. I raised him better than that and if he chooses to forget that then I will gladly remind him."

I sighed. "I'm ready for this to be over," I chuckled.

"Soon enough, dear. Soon enough. I will see you shortly."

I picked Mom up and drove over to the restaurant to meet up with Clare and Lizzie first. Everyone else was coming later.

By 8:30 p.m. everything was set up and my nerves were frazzled. I needed this to just happen so that we could move on. I looked at myself in the mirror after Lizzie left the bathroom. She asked me to wear an outfit that she had picked up for me when the night was planned. The dress was classy and sexy, beautiful and stunning. It was this majestic violet, no lie. It was a multi-layered chiffon dress with its longest length barely at my knee. The two golden straps were braided, and they were both thrown over my left shoulder. The gold trim along the waist-line was stunning. I felt like a goddess when I first tried it on during my shopping trip with Lizzie. I refused to purchase it without good reason. Liz had taken a photo on her phone and sent it to Rob. When I got home, the dress was hanging in a bag in my closet. Rob had consistently asked me to wear it for him on several occasions. I never did.

The noise was picking up outside and I was drowning in my thoughts. I looked forward to having fun tonight, but it's been a horrible couple of months lying to Rob and it was taking a toll on the both of us.

RPOV

"Boy, open the door for your poor old father!" The knocking continued.

"Alright, alright. So needy," I opened the door to find my father smiling.

I inwardly rolled my eyes. I was _not_ in the mood to smile and jump up and down.

"I've been calling you for hours. Bloody hell's wrong with you, boy?"

"Nothing. What were you calling about?" I began closing the windows. I had them opened to air out her scent. It was driving me to the edge.

"Are you enjoying your special day, old man?" He rested his hand on my shoulder momentarily.

"No."

"Works for me," he shrugged and chuckled.

_Gee, thanks a lot, Dad._

"Quit sulking. You and I are going out for drinks and a damn good dinner. I've been in hell lately. Get dressed, boy," he sat on the couch and turned the TV on.

I furrowed my brows.

"I'm done with those women. It's just you and I tonight, son."

"Hmm." I could handle that. I stalked off to my room and took all the time in the world. I came out forty minutes later in a pair of old jeans and a clean shirt.

"What's the matter with you?" My father looked at me like I walked out in a trash bag.

"You changed?" I asked. _What the hell?_

"You better change, too," he scolded. "I want a damn good piece of steak. Not some uncooked burger."

"Dad…" I groaned.

"Go change. Put on a nice pair of pants or something. And a nice shirt. Christ! And a nice jacket. Please."

I cursed and went all black. Hell, my life is already in the dumps. After throwing on black slacks, a black button-down and a black blazer, I grabbed my keys and headed for the door with Dad behind me.

"Your mother has been up my ass lately," he groaned and rubbed his face while I drove back into town.

"About what?" I stole a glance at him.

"The hell if I know. You know how women are. Jesus."

I nodded and hummed my agreement.

"How's my girl?" he asked, looking at me.

I shrugged. "The last two months have been hell."

"Working too much?"

I shook my head. "I don't know. She's pulled away."

"I'm sure you guys will be fine, son."

"Easy for you to say," I mumbled.

"Ah, come on. Have a little faith. Give her time and keep trying. I'm sure she's just stressed. Turn right here."

"Where are we going anyhow?"

"Oh, I spoke with Jimmy the other day and he told me about this new place that opened called 'Backstage' and he said they got the best meat in the world."

I laughed. "Okay, Dad. You do know there's going to be hundreds there if it's new."

"It's low key. Don't worry about it. Doubt anyone's heard about it."

Surely enough, there were no crowds outside. The place looked private enough, pretty small, from what I can tell. The windows had fancy bars and from what I can see, blocking out most of the view from outside. But I could see that the place was dimmed down to a golden light.

"You should bring Kristen here sometime," he said as the phone got out and spoke with Liz.

"Tell your mother to put the ducks away. Christ. I'll talk to her later," he hung up as we rounded the corner.

"Ducks? What the hell are you talking about?" I laughed and kept my head down just in case. He held the first set of door opened for me and we stepped in.

"Jesus, Dad. What's going on with you guys?" I pulled the second door opened and looked back at him.

"Same thing that's going on with you and Kristen."

"What?"

"_SURPRISE!_" The place rumbled and I stepped back into Dad.

There were tons of people.

Dad laughed and pushed me forward.

Actually, now that I got a good look, there were only close friends and families.

_I've been punk'd._

My whole body went up in flames and I looked at Dad. "What –?"

He nodded towards the ghost that had been in and out of my house for the past two torturous months.

Jesus, she looked beautiful; like she was Greece's latest goddess.

"Happy birthday," she whispered and leaned up to kiss me.

I couldn't even respond or return the kiss; I was too shocked.

_This is what she's been up to. This is why she's been so distant. This is what she was keeping from me._ I finally understood.

When I didn't respond, she looked around before looking down. "Rob, I'm s—"

I pulled her up against me and nuzzled my face into her neck. "Is this why you've been so closed off?" I mumbled hopefully.

I felt her nod as her arms came up around my neck.

"I'm sorry. I just…" she said sadly. She apparently thought that this hadn't been worth her efforts.

"No, this is great," I pulled back and smiled at her. "Thank you. I almost pissed my pants, but thank you." I pressed my lips to the corner of her lips, her ear and her temple.

Mom, Liz, Jules and very pregnant sister Vicki were first to come greet us. Kristen remained by my side as we made our rounds to greet the guests.

It didn't take long, since there were only about sixty people in the restaurant. When we finally sat down in the back, I pulled Kris onto my lap. She nuzzled her face into my neck as I did to her earlier and breathed in my scent.

"Enjoying your birthday?" she smiled.

I nodded. "Yes. Thank you, but I've missed you terribly," I murmured into her hair.

She sighed and nodded. "I know. But it's all over now. I'm sorry I've been so cold and distant."

"You know I'm going to have to get you back, don't you?" I ran my fingers through her hair.

"No, you're not," she threatened.

"How the hell did you find this place and keep it so quiet?" I kissed her temple and just held her close. I didn't move from her neck.

_Damn, she smelled good._

She pulled back and hummed.

"Well, you can thank your mom for that. Apparently there's a reunion tonight for the Jones' family tonight," she said proudly with a smirk. "Party of 60, naturally."

"Oh, really?" I raised a brow.

"Yes, sir," she looked at me happily. "Your mom is a genius."

"She's just being modest," Mom patted my shoulder and nudged Kris.

She turned to Mom and chuckled. The smile that adorned Kris' her face was mesmerizing.

"She was the brains behind this whole damn thing," Mom nodded to the gathering of our friends and family. "I sure as hell wouldn't have gone through hell again for you. I did it once bringing you into the world."

"Gee, thanks a lot, Mom," I made a face while Kris laughed and shook her head.

"What? It's true," Mom winked at Kris. "If his kids are anything like him, you'll need tons of drugs."

"I'll remember that," Kris nodded trying to stifle her laugh.

"Wrinkly old man!" came a familiar voice.

I turned to my right and saw Sam strolling over. Kris had turned on my lap to talk to Mom, who sat across from us.

"Jesus, how much did you have to drink?" I asked, not surprised that he was drunk already.

"Enough," he laughed.

"It's _my _party," I raised my brows.

He looked Kris up and down. "_Yes it is_."

_Asshole._

"Hey, dude," Kris turned her attention back to us when Mom left.

She turned to her right as well and saw Sam molesting her with his eyes. She stretched out her gold-strapped foot and gave him a swift kick in the leg with the top of her foot.

"A little higher, Darling," I instructed, laughing.

He cupped his hands over the front of his jeans and turned.

"Hey, I want to have kids, alright? Jesus. Bugger off, Wrinkles."

"Sam, dude," Kris shook her head. "Why you telling everyone about your saggy nuts?"

I laughed and gently rubbed her thighs. "What's with you guys and nuts?"

They ignored me. Naturally.

"That's not what you called them last night," he fired back at Kris.

_Christ, these two were worst than her and Kellan years back._

"You're so quick to forget how you wailed like a little bitch when I got the rubber fist out."

"_Oh-ho! _" he snorted. "Tell him how much you enjoyed my nuts."

"_Oh_," she looked appalled. "Jesus. _Those_ were your nuts? I thought you were just strange and had an extra set of nipples in an unfortunate region."

I cocked my brow at her.

"So _that's_ why you sucked them so hard," he tapped his chin.

She snorted and slightly leaned back against me. "Wow. You really were high. That was the pig that I let suck you off."

"Looked just like you," he said, smug.

"Really? He's gay and I got him from your mom," she crossed her arms over her chest. "Said it was your brother."

"Evil," he feigned horror. "You're evil."

I pinched her ass laughing.

"Alright, alright. Knock it off," I scowled at Sam.

He and Kris laughed and he bent forward to kiss her cheek and then shook my hand.

"Sorry I can't stay longer, mate. I've got to head out to NYC tomorrow morning."

"You've got a show?"

"Yeah. Playing for a bit. Call me after you two wear each other out?"

"Shut your trap, hoe," Kris scowled.

"Alright, alright," he put his hands up. "How long's it been since you two –"

"Go find a girl and give your hand a break, will you?" she bit back.

"I don't know how you deal with this," he looked at me. "See you, mate." He ran off toward Mom.

I flipped him off.

"You guys are horrible, you know that?" I kissed her shoulder. She scooted off of my lap and picked up the menu.

"That little bitch. He's the sister I've always wanted," she shrugged, letting out a hearty laugh.

"Uh huh."

She kicked my leg as I called the waitress over.

As we finished dinner, Kris took my hand and nodded at Mom.

Huh.

The lights went out and _oh, shit_.

There was a golden glow coming out of a corner. Jules and John rounded the corner wheeling in a huge cake with millions of candles around the outer rim of the cake. Why Kris didn't just get two simple numbers was beyond me. She never did anything half-assed.

The guests had all stood up and gathered around by the time the thing was wheeled in front of me. A few of them were snickering as the cake passed them.

I looked over the candles and squinted, trying to see whatever they were seeing. I laughed a big laugh and pulled a laughing Kris against my side.

All I saw was a hand, a mouth and a dick. I nearly fell over laughing at Kris. Only she would do this.

There was woman's hand holding a barbecue lighter thing in the shape of a dick near her puckered mouth as though she were blowing the smoke. There was one lone flame in the middle of the cake. Someone had stuck a candle down into the cake so that the flame was right at the tip.

"You're horrible," I told her, still laughing.

"I am," she replied quickly.

"What's it say?" shouted someone from the crowd.

"Kristen should tell you," I set her up.

She glared at me.

"It's _his _birthday," she countered.

"Oh, but you thought of it," I challenged.

They were laughing at us.

She turned her head to the crowd slightly but kept her eyes on me. "Happy birthday. I'm going to blow your head off," she shouted.

The room rumbled with laughter and we didn't even attempt to cool our laughter.

_Should have known_. It was a Kris thing that she liked to do with me. We communicated through dessert. Cakes, pies, cookies, pastries, ice-cream… anything sweet. I didn't particularly enjoy the sugar, but I enjoyed the smile on her face during the experience… and after. And she let me eat off of her body. Win.

I wrapped my arms around her from behind and guided her towards the front of the cake so that our backs were facing the some of the people. She was going to get it now after the stunt that she pulled during my last birthday as well. I was sure she was going to chop my nuts off after this, but I didn't give a damn.

"Alright," Mom cried from laughing so hard. She was wiping her eyes. "Alright. Let's sing."

I kissed her neck, cheek and ear as the crowd howled terribly off-tune. Then they quieted in anticipation. She turned in my arms and kissed my ear.

"Make a wish," she whispered.

I nuzzled my nose in the crook of her neck and closed my eyes.

_Say 'yes,'_ I prayed. _And don't kill me._

Then I let her go and took a deep breath like I was going to blow out the candles. But I thought better of it.

I let go of her hand and she looked at me with confusion. I smiled and left her side to go stand on the opposite side, facing her.

"Kristen, darling," I looked at her innocently.

She shook her head knowingly.

"Will you help me out?" I smiled.

_I'm so evil and she's going to kill me._

"It's your birthday."

The people snickered.

"I can't… _blow_… by myself," I cocked a brow at her.

The snickering turned to full belly laughs.

"You're a talented man," she narrowed her eyes, placing her hands on her beautiful hips.

"Please? Do it with me?" I pleaded.

_I'm a fucking genius! _

_You're a fucking genius, man. _

_Thank you. I know._

_By the way, she's totally going to kill you._

_I know that, too._

She gave in. "Fine."

"Give us a countdown from 5," I shouted.

"FIVE," they shouted, snickering.

I bent down a little. She followed my lead.

_Right where I want her._

"FOUR." More snickering.

_Get ready._

"THREE."

_I'm so good._

"TWO."

I looked and her and nodded once. She answered with a nod.

_Here we go, you genius bastard._

"ONE!"

I watched as her lips puckered and she drew in a deep breath. I quickly stood up and teasingly jutted my hips out toward her, looking completely smug when she blew the candles out. Come on. She was bent over and blew out the candles that sat just in front of my crotch. Thank you very much, I'm a fucking genius.

"ROB! You _fucker!_" she stood up and lunged at me.

The room was no longer rumbling, but roaring with laughter. I couldn't help but join in.

I dodged her claws. She turned around and shielded whatever she was doing with her body. She turned around to make sure I couldn't see her.

_Oh, fuck_.

I heard the knife clatter onto the portable table and saw that a huge corner was missing from my cake.

"You cut my cake," I accused while slowly backing away.

I glanced at the cake again. The balls were missing. I immediately felt my own curl back into my body.

She brought her hands from around her back and sure enough, the cake was in her hands. I was going to be caked for the first time. On my 28th birthday. Real mature.

"Ohhohohoho," she was trembling with anger and fury. "That's not all I'll be cutting tonight, mister."

I backed into two of my laughing cousins and glared at them.

"What do you mean?" I was backing into a corner.

_Fuck! Mom, help!_

She laughed and pushed Kris closer towards me. "You're on your own, sonny."

_Shit, did I say that aloud?_

My heartbeat tripled and thudded in my ear. I felt the sweats coming on… I was terrified of my girlfriend.

"Well, you see…" Kris held out the corner for me to see.

She had cut off the corner of the hand holding the base of the dick-lighter… which happened to include the balls.

My back hit the wall and I groaned.

"I love you?" I tried.

"Good for you," she growled before smashing the cake into my face.

She was still laughing and rubbing the cake into my face when I grabbed her wrists.

The people were howling.

_She's laughing. Laughing. That means she's either not angry or she's turned into a crazy. I hope it's the former. The boys in my pants prayed for the former._

I opened my eyes to see white and more white. _Why, that little…_ I quickly wrapped my hands in her hair and rubbed my face against hers, successfully covering her face with the goo.

I tried my luck and pressed my frosted mouth against hers. She opened up for me and moaned into my mouth, sucking my tongue and the whipped-cream. She quickly cleaned my mouth and moved to my cheek and chin.

"Kris," I groaned. This was starting to feel a little _too_ good. I rubbed her arms, careful not to get any of the cream on her dress.

"You're so lucky this is whipped cream," she moaned lowly against my neck.

"Oh, is that what you're hoping for tonight?" I whispered into her ear. "You want to be whipped, don't you?" I taunted.

"Okay, okay, baby," John said loudly, his voice cracking from laughter. "Kris, you two go wash up. I don't want to see you naked out here. Please."

The party lasted for another hour before everyone slowly scattered out of the place. There were still about 20 people left, so Kris and I said our thanks and goodbyes while they all wished me another happy year before we prepared to leave.

Mom and Liz offered to stay behind with Jules, shooing us out.

Kris held tight to my hand as we hurried out to my car around the corner. We walked through the full lot and around to the passenger side. The gods were smiling down on me, because it was facing the very back of the building. I held the door open for her. As she stepped in, she mumbled her thanks and bent forward to remove a few envelopes from the seat. When she backed out, she pressed her ass up against the front of my pants before straightening her back up against my chest.

"You're lucky no one can see," I growled as I squeezed her backside.

"Hmm," she cocked her head. "Too bad, huh?"

Before she could turn around, I nipped her ear and slid my hand up the front of her thighs and attempted to feel her through her panties.

Except my hand met flesh. Wet flesh. Nothing between her legs but her wet flesh.

_Oh, my holy fuck._

I groaned and slipped my hand out before I lost control. She giggled. Fucking giggled. She knew exactly what the fuck she was doing. I gripped her hips and pulled her ass up to me and I slightly bent my knees and pushed the growing bulge in the front of my pants into her ass.

"You're driving," I slapped her ass and gently pushed her towards the other side of the car.

I sat in the passenger's seat beside her and watched as her dress hiked her high on her thighs when she took her seat.

The engine purred to life, eliciting a purr from Kris herself.

"Mmm, I love this car," she fixed her seat to accommodate her short self.

"Left. Knee. Up," I said in a low voice as we pulled out of the lot and into the fairly empty street.

"Rob, you want to die on your birthday?" she chastised me.

"Well, that was clearly your intention for me tonight, wasn't it?" I turned to face her. I hiked her dress up to her waist. "Up," I demanded.

"Rob," her breathing began to pick up from pure panic, adrenaline and thrill.

I bit her shoulder. "Eyes on the road."

I licked two of my fingers and parted her drenched sex.

"Mmm, you like this," I mused.

I circled her clit twice and she shuddered, trembling. I looked at her and noticed that her eyes were clenched shut.

"Kris, eyes on the road, baby."

They fluttered open. She panted and her juices dripped onto my fingers. "Ohfuckfuckfuck."

"_Ung. _You're so wet," I swirled my fingers around in her wetness.

"It's your birthday," she clawed for any excuse. "I should be –"

"Then let me do what I want," I said as I inserted two fingers into her sex and curled them up.

"_Fuck!_" she screamed and the car swerved slightly.

"Pay attention, Kristen. We'll be doing that soon enough," I mumbled against her neck. I smiled before licking the length of her neck.

"Two fucking months!" she cried out desperately.

"Your fault," I curled my fingers again and pumped up toward her most sensitive spot.

Her heavy breathing was fogging up the car. I continued to pump my fingers into her tight hole. She was full on grunting now and the tight clenches around my fingers told me that she was close.

"Rob, Rob, Rob," she chanted, her eyes glazing over.

I chuckled and rubbed her clit furiously with my other hand. Her cries to me and God nearly made me lose a load. The car sped to a dangerous speed as she came around my fingers.

Her body melted into jell-o as she came down from her high and the car was no longer in the right lane as we turned into our neighborhood.

She was almost whimpering as we rounded the corner.

"Shh," I squeezed her thigh. "Shh, you're alright."

We parked in the garage. She turned the engine off and sighed, closing her eyes.

"I thought I was going to die," she mumbled.

"Just a little one," I winked when she cracked one eye open.

"You're horrible," she laughed as I opened the door and rounded the car to open her door.

I smiled down at her and chuckled, her dress still hiked up over her waist, exposing her bottom half to me.

"Shut up," she mumbled through her smile and held her hands up for me.

I bent forward and picked her up. She wrapped her arms and legs around me and rested her head against my shoulder.

"You're getting all wet," she chuckled and pressed her kisses against my neck.

"I like that you like to share," I bit back a smile.

"Nasty," she mumbled.

"I love that you are," I squeezed her backside and nearly tripped up the stairs when she reached in between our bodies and returned the squeeze on my cock.

"Jesus, Kris," I took a moment to compose myself before I headed up the stairs again.

"What?" she feigned innocence.

I accidentally rammed her back into the door frame when she slipped her hand into my boxers and stroked me.

I pressed her up against the door and sucked her neck roughly. "Not such a good idea when I'm walking up the stairs."

"Not such a good idea when I'm driving, asshole," she growled and bit my chin.

She jumped down from my arms and knelt in front of me.

_Oh, fucking God._

I nearly fell backwards when I felt a hot wetness wrap around my balls. I looked down and sure enough, her mouth was full.

She chuckled as she released me, then stroked my cock and reattached her mouth on me.

I groaned and fisted my hand in her hair.

The suction from her mouth intensified and I grabbed my hair with my other hand. .

"Kris," I was desperate. "_Fuck!_"

She sat up on her knees. Before I knew it, the head of my cock hit the back of her throat and my head almost fell off my shoulders. Two months had definitely been way too long, because when she squeezed my ass with both hands and my whole cock disappeared into her mouth, I warned her of my impending release.

"Kris, I'm going to come," I panted. "Ah, _shit._ _Ung._"

I watched as she relaxed and I slid even further down her throat. I came with loud grunts. Our eyes locked and I saw the corner of her full mouth curve up into a cocky grin.

She sucked the length of my cock dry and pulled back with pursed lips. I placed both of my hands on the wall in front of me and attempted to control my breathing before I could punish her.

"Happy birthday," she smirked. "I just blew your head off." She slapped my ass laughing and moved over to the bed.

I turned around to follow her.

"What, cat got your tongue?" she sat in the middle of the bed and cocked a brow at me.

I shook my head. "Mmm, just saving my energy."

Her eyes questioned me as I pressed her body back onto the bed and pinned her hands above her head. I ran my nose along the column of her neck and inhaled her ready-to-be-thoroughly-fucked scent. This scent was different from all other, and she got like this when the animal in her was ready to be released.

"You know where I'd like to have my tongue," I mumbled against her neck. "Don't you?"

She shook her head.

"Oh, really?" I licked her bottom lip and sucked it into my mouth. "After all this time?"

She shook her head again.

"So quiet?" I pulled up and looked at her flushed face.

She was so needy right this second. I could see it in her face.

I nudged her thighs further apart and let her hands go. She knew better than to move them now.

"You're so beautiful," I told her as I shed her dress off.

No bra. No panties. No more fucking waiting.

"And perfect," I looked down at her naked body beneath me.

I rubbed my hands down her neck, over her perky breasts and down her flat stomach and inner thighs.

"Do you know what I want?" I watched her watching me.

"I've got a few ideas," she drew in a deep breath and arched her back to get a little closer to me.

"I'm not going to let you off the hook so easily tonight," I squeezed her inner thigh, my thumbs grazing the outer lips of her sex.

She gasped and grabbed the pillows when the cold air penetrated her sex. "Rob."

I gently spread the lips again before releasing my grip.

"Yes, baby?" I answered her with a smirk.

I slid back onto my knees until my face was breaths away from her heated core.

"Oh, my God," she cried so low that I almost didn't hear her.

She fisted her fingers in my hair and pulled my head to her sex.

I chuckled. She was so eager and I loved how she took her pleasure from me.

"Why are you so quiet?" I breathed onto her clit.

"Robert Thomas," she growled.

_Christ!_

"Don't you fucking tease me anymore before I fucking combust all over your face, asshole," she panted and lifted her hips, successfully pressing her sex against my mouth.

I laughed. _Teasing. I could do teasing._

But my pants had become too uncomfortable, so I quickly released myself from the tight confines. My eyes remained on the naked woman in front of me.

"Is that so?" I couldn't contain the humor that escaped.

_Fuck me. I loved this woman._

I kissed her sex once, twice, and my lips became slick with her wetness. I almost pulled away to play with her, but her cries convinced me to give her what she wanted. With a little fun.

I spread her lips again with my thumbs and licked my lips when I saw just how thoroughly her sex was coated with wetness. She tried to muffle her moans, but I growled in protest against her wetness and she finally released her whimpers.

"That's right," I lifted up to look at her while I traced her opening with a finger. "Let me hear you."

Without further delay, I created a tight suction over her clit with my mouth. When I slid my finger lower, I felt just how good she was feeling. Her wetness had dripped down to her ass and onto the sheet. My sucking had ceased and I was circling her sensitive clit with my tongue. She shuddered and cried out incoherently. Her body brightened with a flush that she usually got right before she came.

"Hold it," I warned her.

"Fuck!" she cried. "Rob."

"Hold it, damnit," I demanded again. My teasing had stopped for just a second. If she thought I was done, she didn't know me at all.

_I fucking love being teased until I feel like I'm going to die_, she had told me once. That may have been her biggest mistake.

She was breathing slowly and deeply. I could see her mind working to think of anything but the tension that wanted to snap in her lower belly.

I flicked the angry little nub once, earning a hard tug on my hair. Fuck, she was so good. I could feel the pre-cum leaking out of my cock.

I didn't want her to come just yet, so I stopped my teasing on her clit. She sighed and grabbed at her own hair.

"Rob, I swear to God…" she threatened.

I laughed and collected more of her juices, swiping it down to the tight opening of her ass. I circled the outer rim a few times and applied a good amount of pressure to prepare her. She was used to this and I saw her body relax under my touch.

"That's it," I crooned. "Relax." I began to press the tip of my finger into her opening.

_So fucking good_. She knew exactly how to take it. Her body invited me in further.

"Ung, baby," she lifted her hips a bit higher.

"There you go," I licked my lips and gently pushed against the tightness. She was so wet that my finger slid a bit further.

She cried out at a higher pitch and her eyes shot open. "I need to come, please."

"Just a little more," I reassured her. "Relax for me, Kris."

She breathed harder than ever, but she complied.

"So close, so close," she mumbled and opened her thighs wider for me.

I could tell she was disobeying, squeezing her inner walls. I felt it against my finger.

"Don't squeeze, Kristen. Just relax. I'm going to make you feel good."

I finally slid half of my finger in and twisted it. She groaned.

"I'm going to fucking come, Rob."

"I'd like to see you do it before I tell you to," I warned.

When I glanced up at her, I saw a smile on her face. _She fucking loved it._

Her smile gave me the green light to stretch this out just a little bit more.

I rubbed the upper wall of her tight asshole and circled her clit with my tongue at the same time. She let out a scream and her back began arching up. I applied more pressure with my finger and switched my mouth to a tight suction again. Her whole upper body arched off the bed when I felt her pussy clench above my finger.

I moaned against her clit to give her permission to come and she took it greedily. Her pussy squeezed out the come that I had worked for and her eyes clenched longer than I'd ever witnessed. The string of dirty words from her dirty mouth put sailors to shame.

Her voice was so hoarse that her scream was silenced.

She wasn't done yet, so I inserted another finger into her pussy and the clenching intensified. Kris completely lifted off the bed and pressed my face against her sex. Her body twitched and shuddered until her orgasm left her completely exhausted. I was a little worried that she might pass out, but the content smile on her face made me laugh. She flopped back onto the bed.

"Happy birthday to me," I sang while I kissed my way up her body. Her eyes didn't even open. Instead, she just remained a pile of goo beneath me.

This made me laugh as I hugged her limp body to me.

"Rob," she mumbled. Her lips didn't even move.

I couldn't help but laugh my ass off.

"I'm that good, huh?" I squeezed her ass like a proud motherfucker.

Her breathing was back to normal. She cracked an eye open but didn't say a word.

"You are so incredibly hot when you're being punished," I rubbed her back soothingly.

She fucking purred.

The tension that I felt in my cock was so overwhelming by this point that I couldn't help but stroke myself a few times.

Kris licked her lips and swatted my hand away. She was apparently wide awake now.

"Why the hell are you still wearing clothes?" she wasted no time and didn't wait for my reply before she ripped everything off.

She moved to straddle my lap, smiling down at me with so much love and adoration and danger in her eyes that I was terrified and completely content.

She had always refused to fuck with a condom. She never heard me complain. Tonight was no exception.

Kris got up on her knees and lowered herself with too much control for my liking. _So close to home_. I felt the wetness on the head of my cock when she rubbed me against her opening. _So very close_. I sighed when I felt her body lower slightly. _Holy hell_. I nearly screamed when I felt the tight suction of her pussy entrance.

Then God punished me.

The loud ringing of my phone broke my trance and I fucking groaned.

"No," I shook my head. "Please."

She laughed and moved to sit on my stomach before I could get inside.

"Kris," I whined.

The phone just continued ringing. She winked and reached down to retrieve it from the floor.

"This should be interesting," she said with an evil glint in her eyes. She looked at the caller ID as the phone continued to chime and buzz.

I almost bust the phone's left nut, assuming it had one. The damn thing.

"Answer it," she smiled innocently.

I looked at her and it wearily. "Hell, no. Please, baby."

"Answer it," she rose her voice and rose to her knees at the same time.

My nuts hurt so bad right now that I nearly shot off the bed when her ass brushed against my dick.

I took the phone with tense hands and stole another look at her. She had scooted back slightly. My swollen nuts were resting against her pussy; my angry dick standing in front of her.

I accepted the call and she quickly rose, pussy hovering over the head of my cock.

"Don't you dare," I warned her before I put the phone to my ear.

She gave me an evil grin.

I glared at her.

"Hi, mom –" I choked on air when she slammed her pussy down onto my cock.

I almost didn't hear her whisper: "Payback's a fucking bitch."

* * *

**End note:**

*G covers eyes and turns to readers* HOLY FUCKING SHIT. Have you ever done the nasty while on the phone or anything of that sort? Ever been caught?

*Rob smiles and bites his lip, looking at Kristen* Maybe.

*G gasps* You nasty bitches, you. Well, freaking obviously. Since you're making me write it. Gosh. Do you do anything other than fuck like bunnies?

*Kristen laughs* Do you know how good it feels to bring this man to his knees?

*G shakes head* Uh… I could imagine…?

*Kris shakes head* Times that by ten. You have _no_ idea.

*Kris places her hand over Rob's bulge and rubs him*

*G's eyes widens but she can't look away* Ohhh, you nasty bitches… *G enjoys it a little too much*

*G's eye twitches from jealousy and envy and complete admiration. Turns to readers again* Anyway, I would apologize for this load of smut, but Rob threatened me to write this. I had no choice. IKR? I was like, WTF, Rob. Honestly. I'm _not_ going to write that shit. …And shit. Lookit what we have here.

*G sighs and glares at Rob and Kris making out like huge mofos next to her* Fuckers. As I was saying: I'd like to thank everyone who has been on my ass about getting this story out. I promise you that the next few chapters will be free of smut… after Rob finishes his phone call, that is...

*G smacks Rob as he tries to molest Kristen again* Stop it! I'm trying to talk to these good, good people.

*Rob snorts and looks at Kristen* She called them good people. They all look to me like they need to be punished.

*Kris narrows her eyes* Yeah, reading dirty fics about us and all.

*G scoffs* Fuck off, you two. Geebuzz.

*Rob inches his hand down Kristen's jeans*

*Kris laughs at Rob and turns to readers* See. This is exactly why he's going on a sex-break. As in no-sex. After this phone call. My lady parts are sore.

*G laughs and bumps fist with Kris* Told you guys.

*Rob narrows eyes at G and readers* Assholes.

*Kris tugs him away* Yes, Rob. Everyone knows now that you love mine, dammit. Especially after the last story that you made her tell, too. And the one before that. Now leave these people alone. They've heard enough about our obsession with teasing and assholes. Let's go eat turkey.

*Rob struggles but follows Kris. He turns back* She's gonna have some of _my_ ham and get some of _my _stuffing, bitches.

*Kris drags him out of room* Shut the fuck up, Rob.

*G shakes head* See what these two fuckers put me through? Thanks, everyone, for sticking around during this madness. This is just the beginning.

*Rob runs back and sticks head out to readers* G is a dirty hoar, so me and Kris are giving her a thanksgiving present. She needs to be punished. *Pushes G toward English Dominant*

*G's jaw drops and blushes* Holy… fucking… yes! My inspiration! He's pure satisfaction! Bye guys! *G blows kisses to all as English Dom carries her away*

*English Dom turns around to readers* I'll spank her five times for every review she gets. She deserves to be punished.

*G grins* Yesssssssssssss. Punish me. Punish me. *Turns to readers* Please, everyone? K, bye!


End file.
